I've been unable to feel like myself since that September day and I don't know if I ever will.ģ years since finding out, I found my BF.
For the past 3 years I've felt no one could understand this empty feeling I have. Now I'm angry at a dead man because my actual biological father died a year before I found out his identity. I spent my entire adolescence and young adulthood being angry at my deadbeat father who isn't actually my biological father. and I have been numb ever since that September day 3 years ago. She couldn't be talking about the man whose last name I have. She couldn't be talking about the man I spent the last 6 years not talking to because he had disappointed me for the last time. She couldn't be talking about the man that I had spent majority of my life being angry at due to his inconsistent presence in my life. As she goes on to telling me a story about my Aunt she casually says "and that's around the time we found out _ wasn't your father." My mind drifted to another place that couldn't be what I heard. She was telling me about her siblings, my grandmother, and what it was like growing up with then. One day we were in the living having a conversation about my mom's life when she was my age. I had just started my first "real" job in my career and was feeling optimistic about life after college.
I was 25 when I moved back home with my mother after finishing grad school. I was 25 when I found out my entire life had been a lie If anyone has any guidance it would be very appreciated! (I still do not know who my B.F is but he was married and has a large family, I have no intent as of yet to know who he is or find him - apparently he knows of my existence but doesn’t want anything to do with me) I hope this makes sense it is so difficult to get across to people! It’s only been a couple of years since I was told and I still feel very lost within myself, I’m lucky enough to have a very supportive family on my dads side, however I resent my mothers side for all the secrets they kept. I just never understood why my family was failing apart and why they were so ill. I always wondered as a child what was so bad that caused both my parents to have to be hospitalised multiple times over many years and this made me very unwell, causing me to suffer a lot of mental health issues as a young child. When I was 10 she had a psychotic breakdown (probably due to the stress of lying for a decade and she had tried to get in contact with my B.F), my dad found out that I wasn’t his biological daughter and went into a deep depressive episode and I will never be able to imagine how much pain this caused him as we had the best father-daughter relationship. Apparently my mother cheated on my dad with another man (my B.F) yet kept this a secret and went on to have me, and had my dad believe I was his. Thankyou for sharing this! I am currently 21 and at 18 I was told that the man I thought was my father wasn’t my biological father. Main Discussion Page - Who is my biological father?Ĭomments for Who am I? Finding out that my father is not my biological father. I wanted to share my story here in hopes that reaching out, I may stumble upon "the answer". I have finally told myself not seek answers from anywhere else and just wait on God to come through and bring me a peace that only he can give.
#My dna matches no family name in common how to#
After seeking answers from spiritual guides, church, praying, counseling, etc., I still do not know how to let this go completely. I found myself in some type of identity crisis for years. I am 42 years old now and for 18 years I still remain without complete peace and find that the "situation" comes up and haunts me now and then. I met him one time when I was 17, but I did not know who he was. When my mother told me this, my biological father had been dead for 2 years.
#My dna matches no family name in common full#
After three years, I found myself able to talk about the "situation" without having a full blown anxiety attack and my spiritual journey began. My counselor stated that when I first came to see him, I looked like I was ran over by an 18 wheeler and left to die. I found she was poison and I had to regroup myself. I spent three years in counseling and had to remove myself from my mother at the time.
A year later, I had a panic attack and found my "demons" coming to surface. I felt myself falling into a depression shortly after but mentally blocked it from my mind knowing I had to take care of my daughter. My Mother told me this out of her own hurt and bitterness toward my Dad, hoping by telling me this it would hurt him instead. I was 24 years old and completely devastated. In 1992 after having my first child, my Mother decides to tell me that my Dad is not my biological father. Who am I? Finding out that my father is not my biological father.
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